The King's Man

Rating: ★★

Shockingly bad decisions abound!

The Kingsmen films made a name for themselves in a period of increasingly grim self-serious spy films by turning the clock back with a pastiche of the genre that allowed them to return to the days of silly puns, crazy devices, ludicrous villains and world-ending plots. For better and worse it was a return to an older era of spy films more interested in having fun, both in the script and on-screen, then proving out their "realism".

So, it is baffling that the most recent film decided that it would follow up the fun with a grim self-serious historical wartime spy melodrama. All of the verve, fun, and cleverness has gone. We are left with a rather boring tale and little color on display. The result might have been interesting if it had satisfied itself with operating at the margins or leaned into an alternate history take, but instead the characters make futile play in a sandbox where almost everything is pre-determined while they mostly attempt to foil events the results of which we already know. There might have been some charm available from the cast but, with the exception of Rhys Ifans as Rasputin, everyone has apparently been strictly instructed to keep a stiff British upper lip, including--in a total waste of an actor--Ralph Fiennes who had apparently been instructed never to emote.

Finally, the script is worse of all. The more one reads Mark Millar's work the harder it is to avoid his weird conservatism that, at times, feels it can lean far right enough to make neighbors with the alt-right. It seems that the gravity of Millar's politics is so heavy that even this film cannot escape. By the end we've been instructed very seriously in the script's Big Meanings which, as far as I can tell, are:

Pacifism is bad.
Monarchy is Good (the best actually).
Communism is a plot by the global elites and fake.
Lenin was best friends with Hitler in their attempt to take over the world.
Long live the British Royalty and woe to any who might wish their independence.
All US Presidents are Bill Clinton actually and US democracy is a weak joke.

The film is clearly one with a message and that message is apparently this truly stupefying collection of bs. When it comes to the end and the final victory is the main character firmly declaring his rejection of pacifism you can only come to the conclusion that this movie isn't just a mess... it's actual crap. And worse... apparently deeply invested in some sort of sketchy anti-democratic monarchy porn. And, since it has rejected the tone and style of its predecessors, it isn't even a bad movie that is fun to watch. It's just the worst.